🌿 The Exhaustion of “Knowing You’ll Get Through It” And Being Tired of Having To

There’s a particular kind of exhaustion that comes with this journey, the kind where you know you’ll survive the hard days, because you always do, yet you’re so tired of having to manage them in the first place. It’s a quiet, heavy fatigue that settles into your bones. A feeling of, “Yes, I’ll get through this… but why do I have to keep getting through this?”

I lived in that space for years while we were trying to have a child. And if I’m honest, I still find myself there sometimes now, even as we learn to accept that we won’t. Healing doesn’t erase the hard days, it just changes the way they move through you. I’m learning that this is part of the process, part of the lifelong work of grieving a dream while building a new one. I imagine these moments will become less frequent and easier to navigate, and yet I still wish I didn’t have to endure them at all.

Those of you still in the thick of trying, the monitoring, the waiting, the hoping, the crashing, know this feeling intimately. When we were actively trying, these days were constant and so much more intense. The emotional whiplash was relentless. I remember the sudden waves of sadness, the obsessive symptom‑spotting, the way even ordinary plans could trigger grief. I remember feeling like I was losing pieces of myself, like my identity was dissolving into appointments, medications, and timelines.

And I remember the loneliness, the kind that sits in your chest and makes everything feel heavier. Even when you know you’re strong, even when you know you’ll get through it, it still feels unbearable. It still feels endless. It still feels like you’re the only one carrying this invisible weight.

If you’re in that place right now, I want you to hear this clearly: I see you, I honour you, and everything you’re feeling makes complete sense.

You are not weak for struggling, you're not dramatic for hurting and you are definitely not “negative” for having days where you can’t hold it all together. You are a human being navigating something profoundly painful, something that touches every corner of your identity, your relationships, your future, and your sense of self.

And even though you may know you’ll get through it, that doesn’t make the getting‑through any less exhausting.

So please, take good care of yourself. Prioritize your needs, even when the world tells you to be strong. Let yourself feel your feelings without apology. And don’t forget to ask for what you need, from your partner, your friends, your community, or from spaces offering gentle support circles where your story is understood.

You don’t have to carry this alone. You don’t have to pretend it’s easy. And you don’t have to be okay every day.

You’re doing the best you can in a situation you never asked for and that is more than enough.